You are young, life has been kind to you. You will learn....(Sweeney Todd)

I am back.

I am back to say that making friends is proving itself to be much harder than I thought it would be. When I decided to come to London, I thought to myself: hey, on my freshman year of college I made wonderful friends really quickly. I transferred universities on my second year and still managed to find some amazing people very early in the game. Not to mention that I am still extremely close to my high school friend in Brazil. So, how hard could it be to make friends in London?

Well, it turns out it is pretty hard. Here's what they don't tell you when you come to study abroad in London: students have a house department. That means that they are required to take specific classes each semester in order to graduate with the major they want. As they all take the same classes, people from the same major always have class together. So they become friends during their freshman year. Consequence: when you, poor abroad student, come on your second or third year they don't really have any reason to talk to you because all of their friends are sitting right next to them. all.the.time.
Don't get me wrong, I try to start conversations, ask for random things just to get them to realize that I am there. But they barely answer my question and go back to their inside jokes.

I've always been skeptical about study abroad kids that come back BFFs of other students in the program but not of residents of the country. Well, here I am, bitting my tongue as I go out with a bunch of Americans and with no British kids. And I don't even have the language barrier! I don't even know how much harder this would be if I had chosen to go to Germany. Oh boy, it gives me a headache just thinking about it.

So yes, next time I see a study abroad kid at GW, I will make damn sure I talk to that kid. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with the american friends I've made so far and I am I really loving my study abroad experience.

But to be honest, I kindda miss GW, where I actually have really good friends.....

What's next?

Last week I had the amazing opportunity to spend a couple of days in Edinburgh. I took a good old bus from London and after glorious 10 hours I arrived in Scotland. And my eyes just fell in love.
Edinburgh is absolutely stunning. It felt like Hogwarts, it smelled like fall, people were so nice and friendly and the city is just beautiful. But it was raining and cold (I guess even heaven has its problems).

On my second day there, while talking to the botanic garden with a baguette and sparkling water, I thought to myself: this place is so beautiful, I could just stay. We all think that at least once in our lives while traveling. I am very prone to say things like that. I saw myself living in Venice, Chicago, Washington DC, Patagonia and London. But this time it finally hit me: there is absolutely nothing stoping me form actually living in Edinburgh! It was such a new though to me that I got butterflies just thinking about it, but I finally realized that I have no roots anywhere holding me back. I am finishing college and I literally have the entire world to choose from.

I know it sounds obvious, but this idea is much more complex than it appears. By being privileged enough to be able to travel around Europe I realized that the world is just SO big and have so many cultures and places that I can relate to. I can build a life in so many places that it almost sounds sinful to settle with going back to Brazil or just staying in America. So I officially have my thinking hat on, because in less than two years I need to figure out not only what I want to do with my life, but WHERE I want to do it.

It is slowly hitting me how lucky I am to be able to make these decisions. My family is amazing and would support me even if I decided to live in Mars. When I was considering moving to America, I was too scared to leave my family, specially my brother, behind. So I told him that, and his answer was: you are the most amazing person I know, PLEASE leave and go have an amazing life. And when I asked my mom if she would be willing to pay for my college she said: even if I had to take 1000 loans, I want you to go wherever will make you happy. So yes ladies and gentleman, I have an amazing support system. And yes, I feel VERY pressured to do something wonderful with my life to somehow pay them back for being so fantastic.

On that note, I am sending Tim Burton a letter in the hopes that I can intern for him next summer. Wish me luck!